Isabella Page 10

  How was I supposed to reply when he knew I’d been mesmerized by his body? The room became quiet as I brought my feet to the floor and stood up. Our eyes stayed fixed on one another, and I was beginning to shake as I took a step in his direction. “I don’t want to play cards.”

  He watched me take a couple more steps, breaking that distance between us. “What do you want to do then, just go to bed?”

  I licked my lips as I brought my face closer to his. “I’m suddenly not tired anymore.”

  To be honest, I have no idea what had gotten into me. I’d never come onto a man in my life, and here I was taking advantage of the situation. Heaven help me but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to feel what it was like to kiss him, to feel his lips kissing me back. I needed to feel what it was like to be wanted by a man again. Pregnant or not, I had needs that I’d been neglecting.

  Our lips brushed for the first time and I closed my eyes, preparing to go further. He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me away, turning his head while looking pained. “I can’t.”

  I felt rejected. “I thought you liked me.”

  “I do.” I started to back away, but he pulled me closer. “It’s not that, I can assure you.”

  “Then what?”

  Rusty looked away and closed his eyes. “Isabella, I do want you. It’s just that I haven’t been with anyone in a very long time. I don’t want you to do this because you feel sorry for me.”

  “I don’t want you to want me because you miss your wife and I remind you of her.”

  At the same time we both said, “I don’t.” It may have been a lie for both of us, but it didn’t matter. The moment was already happening.

  We both sort of smiled and looked away again. Rusty lifted my chin and looked deeply into my eyes. “You deserve to feel wanted.”

  “So do you.” It was the truth. He needed to feel alive again, because he was. “We’re both adults. I know this is unexpected, but we’re in this hotel together and we’re both obviously attracted to each other. I’m not sayin’ that we have to make love, but -.” His lips were on mine before I could answer. My hands found his hard chest and I ran the palms of them over his skin. Our mouths connected several times before I found the courage to use my tongue. It was as if I needed to test the waters before jumping right in.

  This man was so fragile. He’d confided in me, and it had caused us to connect on a level that I’d never experienced with anyone before. I thought I knew Tate, but really our childhood relationship didn’t compare to this at all. I craved to be touched by this man, who in turned yearned to feel something real again. If all we had was this one night and nothing else, I wanted it to be memorable.

  We both pulled away to catch our breaths. I ran my hands over the elastic to his boxers. He pulled away, as if he was embarrassed that he was forming an erection. “Sorry. I’m not –.”

  “Shh.” I pulled the elastic toward me and let my hand slide down beneath until I felt his warm, smooth skin with my fingertips. “Close your eyes.”

  He did as I asked and I leaned forward brushing my lips over his. Right away I felt his body beginning to tremble. He began shaking so bad that I couldn’t ignore it. His eyes shot open and I took one step back. “Are you okay?”

  He just stood there staring at me, like he’d done before when I thought he was a stalker.

  “Rusty?”

  He came at me, shoving our lips together, and pulling us both down on one of the beds. It was so sexy to be with a real man, someone older that was still nervous. The more I fought with myself over my actions, the more I knew I wasn’t going to back down.

  Chapter 14

  Rusty

  I couldn’t believe that she was on top of me, pressing those perfect lips against mine. Her hands remained on my chest as our tongues mingled together. I hadn’t felt this way in such a long time, but worried that at any minute she was going to stop.

  For so long I’d felt as if I’d never be able to feel something for anyone again. I’d given up hope that good things could happen for me.

  I was afraid to keep closing my eyes, in fear of her not being there when I opened them back up. I was scared to death that it could have all just been a dream. For so many nights I’d imagined what it would be like to touch her soft skin, to smell the fragrance of her body lotion, and to feel the way her lips felt when they pressed over mine.

  Now it was happening, and I couldn’t slow down my trembling body. My nerves were taking over, and I wasn’t sure whether to stop or push on.

  When I knew that it was apparent to her again, I pulled away. She lay there under me on the bed, waiting for me to respond in some way. “Sorry. I just need a minute.”

  Isabella reached up and ran her fingers through my hair on the sides. “Do you want to stop?”

  I moved my head slowly from side to side. “You’re asking a man whether he wants to stop kissing you.”

  She shrugged. “Yeah, so?”

  “You already know the answer to that. It’s just…it’s hard to not feel like I’m cheating. I know it sounds ridiculous.” I looked down, ashamed to break the moment with my emotional guilt.

  “She’d want you to be happy.”

  I traced her bottom lip with my thumb. “That’s just it, Iz. I know she’d want that. The question is whether this is going to end once we go home. Is this the start of something new, or just a one-time thing, because I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t think I can be with you one time and be happy.”

  She sat up on her elbows and I backed off the bed to kneel in front of her. I could tell she was thinking about what to say. “I don’t have an answer to that. Up until today I would have told you that you’d be the last person on earth I’d want to sleep with. Contrary to my first impressions of you, I’ve learned that I never really knew the real you at all. Somethin’ changed between us today. I’m not goin’ to even try to deny it. Kissin’ you feels so good, and I’d like to continue, but I don’t know what will happen when we get home. My cousin’s a big problem, and I don’t want you to lose your job.”

  “You really think he’d fire me?”

  She shrugged. “I think that once the family finds out I’m pregnant they’re goin’ to have a real problem with me sleepin’ with the help. No offense. They obviously don’t know the real you, and since you don’t want to share it with them, I can’t see this workin’ out.”

  She was right. The truth hurt.

  Still, I wasn’t ready to let the whole world know who I used to be.

  “And don’t even get me started on my dad and brothers. They like to be in control of everything I do.”

  I traced my fingers over one of her knees. “So we should probably just stop while we’re ahead then?”

  She leaned forward, inching her mouth to touch mine. Her kiss was so gentle. “Probably.”

  Had I been in control of my sex drive I probably would have handle things much differently. My body was reacting to hers before my mind could catch up. I had to continue kissing those soft lips.

  When her arms reached around my neck, I was immediately pulled back down onto the bed. My hands traveled up to her loose t-shirt, inching their way to touch one of her soft breasts. I was taken back when it finally coursed over the nipple, feeling that hard bud beneath my fingertips. She pulled me closer, kissing me harder. I began holding my breath to prevent from pulling away from her.

  As the petting intensified, so did my increased need to feel her bare skin. Before I could lift up her shirt, she was doing it for me, sitting up and pulling it over her head. I’d imagined what this moment would be like. There’d been so many nights when I’d thought about getting her naked; many nights where I’d relieved myself thinking about an encounter just like this.

  Isabella reached down and touched both of her breasts, using her manicured fingernails to pinch the nipples.

  A sudden spark hit my dick, awakening a deep desire that I’d locked up to prevent from feeling. I watched her top lip dragging
over her bottom, leaving a trail of glistening saliva as it moved. My need to kiss her only increased when she reached her hand down into her shorts and moved it up and down. Her eyes closed, and I knew exactly what she was doing, even before she said it. “I want you to want me, Rusty. I want to feel needed.”

  I pulled her off the bed making her stand up. She looked directly into my eyes as I ripped her hand out from inside of her shorts. Her confusion was short lived when I tugged down on them. To my surprise she’d not only gone without a bra, but her underwear as well. My mouth watered as I crouched down to be face to face with her pussy. Just as my hand brushed over the shaved skin, I looked up to see her watching me. The expression on her face let me know that she wasn’t about to refuse me. I inched my way forward, smelling her fresh skin before grazing my lips over it. She dug her hands into my hair, not to guide me but to hold on to something while she closed her eyes.

  I couldn’t believe this was happening; that I was here with her in this room, alone and unclothed. I’d dreamed of this moment.

  My focus went back to the task at hand. While my throbbing cock continued to beckon, I licked that sweet spot for the very first time. She let out a soft moan as I continued, letting my moist muscle slide in between her folds until it reached her clit. I sucked it in between my teeth and tugged, listening to her body reacting to me.

  It was hard for me to stay focused, knowing that at any second I was going to prematurely lose it in my shorts. I lapped her pussy up again, over and over, sucking and flicking her clit with my tongue until she began to cry out. Even still, I kept going, wanting nothing more than to bring her pleasure for awakening a dead part of me again.

  Isabella became weak in the knees and let her ass fall down on the mattress. I craved more of her pussy and put her legs up high for her to hold. I gave her a final stare before diving in again. The taste of her filled my mouth, and I savored it as if it were the best flavor in the world.

  For the first time since the day I lost my wife I felt whole again. It was as if this connection was bringing me back to life. When her body began to crash again, I pulled away, kissing the inner part of her thighs, before looking up to see her expression. She played with my hair and let out a deep laugh. “Wow. That was intense.”

  I showered her with tiny kisses until our lips met. She pulled away, shocked from tasting herself. This got to me, making me realize that she’d been with one person since high school. Her experience was limited, which meant that I could show her things she couldn’t imagine existed. I could make her feel like no other man ever had before.

  The knowledge of that excited me more. To be able to bring her to the brink of ecstasy repeatedly was an unimaginable high. Isabella flipped us around. I grabbed her fingers and intertwined ours together. It was something that I used to do with my wife, and even though I wasn’t trying to think about being with her again, little details kept occurring. I must have only closed my eyes for a second, but it was enough for her to read that something was wrong. She released her hands and sat on top of me with worried eyes. “What just happened?”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Do you want to stop? We can, if that’s what you need to do.”

  I shook my head immediately, before she even stopped talking. “No. This is where I want to be, here with you. Didn’t I just prove that to you? Do you have any idea how many nights I’ve thought about being like this with you?”

  She slid over to the side of the bed. “It’s not that. Rusty, right now I want to be with you too, but we can’t do this today. You and I both know we need to stop while we’re ahead.”

  She was right.

  This encounter was only happening because we were both so emotional. Had I lost my shit we never would have ended up remotely near each other. It was a sad truth. I backed away from her, distancing myself from being able to touch her beautiful body in any way. “You’re absolutely right. I can’t let this happen in a shitty hotel room.” I reached my hand out and touched one of hers. “What just happened between us is only the beginning. I have to believe that. What you felt is just a piece of what I have to offer you, when the time is right.” I stood up and looked down at her still body. “If you don’t mind, I’m just going to go take a cold shower, because if I have to look at that amazing body for one more second all bets are going to be off.”

  I didn’t wait for her to argue with me, and I knew she would because she was famous for getting the last word in edgewise. This decision had to stick, because if I wanted her to be with me, the reason couldn’t be that she felt sorry for me. This day was about saving her, and I’d done that. Sure, we’d almost made love, and one day I hoped we still would. At least I got to find out what it felt like to kiss her, and to know what it felt like to give her pleasure. At the end of this awful day, it was at least something to smile about.

  Chapter 15

  Isabella

  Confusion wasn’t my best attribute.

  I was trying so hard to rationalize with what had taken place in the past hour and I couldn’t even begin to understand how I’d gone from hating someone, to craving his touch.

  I was able to accept that my judgment had been blurred in light of learning about Rusty’s heartbreaking past. I knew it was too late for any meaningful condolences, but longed to give him some kind of hope that he could live again. From the moment his lips touched mine for the first time, I knew that being with him physically would prove dangerous for both of us. In that instant I was willing to overlook my set boundaries and do what my body was telling me to do.

  Unfortunately, there are consequences to every premature decision, mine being the fact that I hadn’t considered what would happen between the two of us from that point on. The thought of alluding my family filled my mind, as I desperately clung on to the way this man had made me feel. I knew I wouldn’t be able to deny our connection, whether it be for the sake of both of us getting some kind of emotional release, or something more than that. All I knew was that us stopping wasn’t what I had wanted.

  While Rusty showered, I leaned over and lifted his wallet out of his pants. I wanted to see a picture of his family again, and observe the uncanny resemblance I had to his two girls. Sure, our hair was around the same color, and they both seemed to have green eyes, but that was it. What bothered me so much was knowing that all along Rusty had found interest in me because of this resemblance. It only made me think that our connection was superficial at best. Obviously it wasn’t me he was after, but some remnant of his late wife.

  I closed the wallet and put it back in his pants before the water stopped running in the shower. By the time the door opened, I tucked myself under the covers of my own bed. He entered the room in only a towel, holding it close to his hip as he set down on the edge of my bed. “Are you okay, Isabella?”

  “Yeah. I’m fine,” I lied, knowing that I was more confused than ever before. Then I knew what I wanted. Seeing him so close to me, knowing that his arms brought me so much comfort, I knew exactly what I needed. “Lay with me tonight. Please. I just want to hold you.”

  He never removed the towel until he was under the covers beside me. A part of me felt the need to put my clothes back on, but we’d already been there and experienced that. I had nothing to hide from this man, and longed to be close to him.

  We lay side by side for a while, staring into each other’s eyes. In so many ways it was like we were having a silent conversation, sharing all of our emotions while doing nothing at all. I’d never connected on this type of level, and didn’t know if it would ever be like this again. Rusty reached over and stroked my hair. He smiled and leaned over to kiss my forehead. “You make me want to live again.”

  I’d never had so much sentiment on my shoulders before. This broken man found contentment in being around me. I couldn’t deny him that, nor refute my own growing desire to be with him.

  My hand stretched to connect with his scruffy cheek. The palms coursed over his skin while I watched the lids of
his eyes slowly closing. He leaned into my touch, accepting the comfort. “Kiss me.”

  Our lips united, sending waves of delight through every inch of my body. Quickly I responded to the way his tongue matched mine. I climbed up and straddled his body, feeling his growing erection beneath me. In an immediate comeback, I began to rock forward, meeting his welcoming mouth for more of what was fueling me to need more. Our tongues blended, while his hands came up and possessed my hips. As they continued traveling up I realized that we were instantly right back in the same place as before. He traced the Mitchell tattoo that was written vertically on the left side of my ribs. It tickled there, feeling him so close to the underneath of my breasts. A time out had only heightened my hunger for this sensitive man, and thankfully he wasn’t persuading me to stop again.

  My lips trailed over his, while words began coming out; words I knew would take us to the next level. “Make love to me.”

  He reached up, running his full hands over both of my breasts. I kept moving around, letting him know I was ready and willing. Everything I was experiencing, all of my emotions were fading with the new revelation of becoming one with this man. He sat up, switching our positions so that he was lingering over top of me. Our eyes convened, and I could sense the deprivation that he’d been living with for so long. He needed this more than I did, not that it was a competition. We both had issues that had brought us together, that was no secret.

  Gentle kisses trailed over my body, and his hand traveling over my most sensitive of areas, while I patiently accepted him getting familiar with every inch of me. I may not have asked to find someone new, but he was lying on top of me, offering to make me forget, even if only for a little while. His hand swept over my sex, and I watched a smile forming in the corner of his mouth. “You’re so warm, and I can’t get the way you taste out of my mind.”

  Waves of sensitive tingles rushed through me, hardening my nipples and giving me butterflies in my stomach. I was about to be with a real man, someone older, who knew exactly what he was doing. The idea of it all was frightening, but electrifying at the same time. I accepted his mouth as he came down to kiss me again. Our tongues met, and as the pattern of our movements increased, I understood his hunger was only intensifying.