Losing Him (Mitchell Family Series Book 8) Read online

  Losing Him

  (A Mitchell Family Series Book 8)

  Written By: Jennifer Foor

  Copyright © 2013 Jennifer Foor

  All Rights Reserved

  Cover Art By : Wicked Cool Designs – Robin Harper

  This book is a written act of fiction. Any places, characters, or similarities are purely coincidence. If certain places or characters are referenced it is for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. This book is not allowed to be offered for sale, discounted, or free on any sites other than Kobo, IBook’s, Amazon and Barnes and Noble. This book may only be distributed by Jennifer Foor, the owner and Author of this series.

  Check out the other books by Jennifer Foor

  (Contemporary Romance)

  Letting Go - A Mitchell Family Series Book One

  Folding Hearts – A Mitchell Family Series Book Two

  Raging Love – A Mitchell Family Series Book Three

  Risking Fate – A Mitchell Family Series Book Four

  Wrapping Up – A Mitchell Family Series Novella 4.5

  Wanting More – A Mitchell Series Book Five

  Saving Us – A Mitchell Family Series Book Six

  Blinding Trust – A Mitchell Family Series Book Seven

  Hope’s Chance (Contemporary Romance)

  The Somnian Series (YA Paranormal)

  Books 1-5

  Hustle Me (A Bank Shot Romance)

  Hustle Him (A Bank Shot Romance)

  Diary of a Male Maid

  Twinsequences

  Coming Soon

  Gray Love (Contemporary Romance)

  Repair Me ( Erotica)

  Beta Readers

  Margo Lomeli, Amy Haigler, Karrie Stewart, Jennifer Harried, Erica Willis, Sarah Thompson, Mechelle Lovell Jackson, Kim Eckley, Kim Person, Milasy Mugnolo and Stephanie Horning

  Web Design and Marketing by: Amy Haigler

  Acknowledgements:

  My hubby, Tim. The Mr. Mom, Maid, Driver, Shopper, Cook, Landscaper, Erotic Masseuse, My Rock, My Heart, My Forever!

  Thank you and Love goes out to:

  My very special and dear friends.

  Author: Emily Snow

  Author: Michelle Valentine

  Author: Michelle Leighton

  Thanks to all of my new friends on my FB, Twitter and Goodreads.

  Author: Amanda Bennett, Author: Elizabeth Buchanan

  Author: Heather Gunter

  For being so freaking amazing to me all the time.

  Author: Kim Karr

  Authors Kristen Proby and Kelli Maine from the Naughty Mafia,

  for putting up with my crazy ass.

  Thank you for spreading the word and all of the support you give.

  Thanks to all of my other Independent Author Friends. (you know who you are)

  Thank you to my new street team, Foor Players.

  Thank you to all the book bloggers out there spreading the word for me and others who write.

  Rockstars of Romance(Milasy and Lisa)----- Business in the front, party in the back!

  Book Bitches, Maryse Book Blog, Shh Mom’s reading, Into the night Reviews, Word, Kindlehooked, , Totally Booked, Word, Reading is my time out, Stick Girl Book Reviews, Wolfels World of Books, Dirty Books and Dirty Boys

  Book Broads, Book Studs, Books Books Books, Reality Bites Books, Naughty Mafia Vegas, Smutty Book Whores,

  S&M Book Obsessions – I love these dirty girls!!

  What to read after fifty shades – Summer Daniels

  Special Thanks to:

  The Mullet Ninjas (You know who you are.)

  Everyone who has made this series the success that it is. I am forever grateful. Thanks to my family and my faith. With them, all things are possible.

  Chapter 1

  Heather

  “Mommy, I don’t want to go. Can’t I stay with Daddy?”

  I looked down at Jacob, who didn’t understand the concept of death. The news was still too fresh in my mind to be able to talk about it without crying, and I couldn’t let him see me upset, yet again. My child had seen enough of that in his short five years of life.

  I kneeled down and brushed a piece of hair that was sticking up. “Buddy, you know we have to go.”

  He looked sad. “Can’t we just go to heaven and visit Nana there?”

  I could feel the burn forming in my eyes as I attempted once again to choke back the tears. My mother had suffered from cancer and tried all treatments that were offered, but it was too progressive. In a matter of months it had spread into her bones and several organs.

  She died at the hospital, all alone, because I couldn’t get Jacob’s father to watch him and drive there in time.

  She had no one there to hold her hand and tell her she was going to a better place. She didn’t have a single family member there assuring her that her loved ones would be okay without her.

  I hated myself, but more, I hated him. He was never there for me, and I couldn’t blame him. We’d met under false pretenses and I’d pretended to be a complete stranger when I knew more secrets about his family than he did.

  Jessie was everything that I’d been looking for. He knew I was in danger and made sure that I was safe. He cared about me like no other man ever had. He became my world.

  It just so happened that when he found out the truth about me, his father, and everything I’d done, he made sure that I was removed from his life. Too bad the damage had already been done. I was already carrying his child.

  I have to give it to him for trying. When he found out I was pregnant, he did make an effort. He was there when Jacob was born, pitched in with expenses, and showered him with love.

  The only thing he showered me with was heartbreak and an occasional late night fuck. He continuously hurt me, by ignoring my calls and distancing himself from the life we could have had.

  For the next five years, our relationship was on again off again. Sure, I’d considered going to drastic measures to win his heart, but we all know how that worked out for me in the past. Instead, I prayed and tried to be the best mother possible, no matter how much my heart was breaking.

  When my mother got sick, Jessie and I were on terrible terms. His parents were a big part of it. Since they’d sheltered him from his biological father, you can imagine how unaccepting they were of me, intruding in their perfect life.

  His mom came around when I had Jacob, but she wasn’t pressing her son to be with me either. She just wanted us to get along for our son’s sake.

  When I heard Jacob running out of the bedroom, I applied the last of my eye makeup, knowing it was going to run all over my face probably before I got to the funeral home to check and make sure everything was a go for in the morning.

  All of this still felt like a bad dream. Even with visiting as much as I could, I still had to take care of my son and work a full time job to support us. One thing I could appreciate was that my mother, in the midst of being sick, paid for me to finish up my nursing degree. I’d attended a four year college and attained a degree, but didn’t follow through with the nursing program. After Jacob came along, I knew I needed a real career to be able to provide for the both of us, in case my baby-daddy wanted nothing more to do with us.

  I’d been a nurse for nearly four years and I loved my job. After all of the bad things that I’d been responsible for, I’d found peace in helping the sick and needy. Of course, I worked in the O
ncology ward, dealing with patients of all ages suffering from cancer. Some days were hard, but I knew I was helping and refused to give up, no matter how emotional the job got.

  Knowing that I needed to get on the road, I sprayed my hair one more time and went out to gather up my kid and get going.

  I’d no sooner walked out into the small kitchen, when I saw my son flying out the door toward the dirt driveway. Pulling in was his father in his big red truck. I grabbed my purse, wondering how bad this was all going to go since he refused to help me out just a day before. Once I took one more look at myself in the powder room mirror, I headed out to greet him.

  Jacob was on his shoulders as we met in the driveway. I looked up into his father’s blue eyes that still made me crazy in love with him. “I didn’t expect you here.”

  He shrugged, but right away I noticed he was carrying a newly pressed suit wrapped in plastic. It was rare for him to be dressed in something other than jeans and a t-shirt. In fact, I’d only seen it twice. “Don’t push it Heather. I thought about it and I know Jacob would want me there.”

  I wanted him there, but I wasn’t about to piss him off by saying it. “I appreciate that. I was just about to leave. Do you need to get anything out of your truck? You do know I have to stay there for the next week?”

  “Yeah, I get it. Actually, I plan on seeing my sister while I’m there.” It was the one thing that he didn’t hate me for. Since neither of them knew about each other, they were ecstatic to find out they weren’t only children. After the big reveal, they’d visited quite a few times and kept in touch.

  Unfortunately, his sister filled him in on my involvement with his father, even more than I had come clean about. That made him hate me more. In fact, we’d been split up since the last time he’d visited with her and I didn’t have my hopes up for us getting back together.

  I’d done my share of crying and pleading with him to forgive me. After all that I’d done to other people, I was getting it back ten times worse. I didn’t deserve to be happy and nobody knew it more than me.

  I tried to smile. “Good! I bet she’s happy about that.”

  “Yep!” He was always so short with me. Every time he spoke, it was harsh and without emotion.

  Once we got on the road Jacob filled the quiet car with ridiculous nonsense. “Dad, when I grow up I’m going to hunt sharks and be friends with dolphins and when I jump in the water, I’ll be so fast that they won’t catch me.”

  We both laughed, but I refused to look at Jessie. I couldn’t piss him off in any way. Even if he wasn’t going to touch me, or hold my hand as I buried my mother, him just being there was enough support. I couldn’t exactly lean on my brother, since he was doing sixteen years in prison for bank fraud. It seems that his computer hacking skills landed him in with the wrong group of people. I’m not exactly sure of all the details, because it happened when I was pregnant and having my own problems, but the FBI got involved and my brother was basically caught red-handed.

  The saddest part was that he didn’t even know our mother was sick, and finding out she’d died in a letter couldn’t have been easy for him. He’d called me last night, and I could hear the pain in his voice. My brother wasn’t a bad guy, he was just too smart for his own good and people took advantage of what he could do for them.

  “Can we stop at McDonalds?” My son’s little voice asked loudly from the backseat.

  “Jacob, we just started driving. How about you play your game and wait a little while?” Jessie had a way with Jacob. He could get him to listen when it was damn near impossible for me.

  “Okay, Daddy.”

  Jessie looked at me and I could see him doing it out of the corner of my eye. “I can drive whenever you want to take a break. You should probably rest up as much as possible. It’s going to be a long couple of days.”

  I looked at him and smiled. “You sure you don’t mind?”

  “Yeah, I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t sure about it!” He was short again. It hurt so much that he hated me.

  We switched places at the next bridge and I got as comfortable as possible in the passenger seat. Jacob had already fallen asleep, so it was easy for me to doze off.

  With my head pressed against the window, I opened my eyes. It was dark out and I could hear Jacob talking, so I knew a bit of time had passed. What came out of my son’s mouth shocked me, so I didn’t turn around.

  “How come you don’t love Mommy anymore?”

  Jessie cleared his throat and spoke low, trying not to wake me. “It’s complicated, buddy.”

  “What does complicated mean?”

  “It means that things have happened that caused problems for us.”

  “You can fix problems. Why don’t you just move back home? Mom will let you. She says you don’t love her anymore.”

  “Jacob, your mother doesn’t know how I feel. I never said that I didn’t love her. Right now isn’t the time to talk about this.”

  “So, you still love her, right?”

  The car was quiet and I prepared myself to hear him admitting it to our young son. He’d made it quite clear that I was the devil incarnate on several occasions. “Yes, now can we drop it?”

  “Okay!”

  I didn’t want to get too overexcited, considering that he could be telling Jacob a lie to make him feel better. God knows I lied to people that I loved in the past. A parent would do anything for their child, even if it’s stretching the truth to keep them from being sad.

  I waited a couple minutes before sitting up and pretending that I’d been sleeping. “How long did I sleep?”

  “About two hours. We’re almost there.”

  I looked in the backseat. “You need to get a bath as soon as we get to Nana’s house.” As soon as I said it I realized that Nana would never be there again to greet us at the door. She’d never spoil Jacob, her only grandson, with hundreds of kisses. She wouldn’t see him grown up to be a handsome man. She was gone.

  I covered my face and started to sob. A warm hand touched my shoulder briefly and then pulled away. “Jacob, I’ll help you get your bath and get settled. Your mom has some things to do when we get there.”

  I reached for his hand, but he lifted it and put it on the steering wheel, clenching his jaw to prevent saying something he would regret. I looked out the passenger side window, trying to hide the pain of rejection in my eyes. At least he was there with me. That’s what I needed. It had to be enough.

  When Jessie pulled up at my mother’s house, it took my breath away. My chest felt heavy and I could feel my heart pounding at a rapid rate. I tucked my head between my knees and tried to regain composure. “Jess, I can’t breathe.”

  He turned off the car and reached over, touching my back and holding his hand there. “It’s just anxiety. You knew this was going to be hard. That’s why I came. You’re in no condition to go through the motions of burying your mom and being able to take care of yourself and Jacob. I’ll carry everything inside. You just take a couple minutes and come in when you’re ready.”

  Jessie and Jacob climbed out of the car and carried their bags with them, leaving me sitting in my mother’s dark driveway all alone. I was so depressed that I couldn’t look out into the yard. I didn’t want to think about all the times that she’d been there waiting for us. I didn’t want to think about her hugging me and telling me that someday I would be happy. It was too bad she never got to see that day.

  My tears flooded out of my eyes and I gave up trying to hold them in. I wanted my mother back. I wanted her to be able to see that I wasn’t just a selfish bitch that hurt people to get what I wanted.

  More than anything, I wanted a do-over of the last ten years of my life. There was so much that I would have done differently. I could have made her proud of me. Instead, I fell in love with the wrong guy and let that love for him destroy all the potential that I ever had of being a good person. I had no friends, my boyfriend hated me and my mother was dead.

  How much worse
could my life get?

  Chapter 2

  Jessie

  What kind of person would I be if I wasn’t there for her during the lowest time of her life? She was the mother of my child and, as much as I was pissed at her, I still cared.

  When she came into my life, walking into my parent’s Bed and Breakfast, I saw a girl who was running and afraid. It was in my nature to reach out and do whatever I could to help her. She was beautiful and so fragile.

  How was I supposed to know how damaged she was?

  I fell in love with her faster than I’d fallen for any another woman. Each day she smiled more and as I prepared to make a life for myself, I began wondering if I could make a spot for her in it. We were so happy, at first, feeling free and being together.

  When I found out she was having my baby, nothing could have made me happier. We were going to be a family. I went out and bought a ring, trying to come up with the best time to pop the question. It was all going to be perfect.

  She told me the truth on the night I was asking her to marry me. I promised to hear her out, but it was too much to take. Maybe I shouldn’t have said the things that I said to her that night. Maybe I should have slept on it all.

  She left immediately, stating that she’d give me time.

  I miss those days; the days before I knew who she really was and why she’d really come into my life.

  It wasn’t just the fact that she’d lied. She’d held life altering information from me. I didn’t know about my father. My aunt and uncle were the people who raised me after my mother passed away. I guess I was just too young to remember everything.

  When I heard from Heather again, she’d been to Kentucky and was held hostage in some mansion that belonged to her ex boyfriend’s family. My biological father lost his life that day. I can’t say that he didn’t have it coming. My family is pretty sure that he was involved in my mother’s death.

  Heather had a broken arm when she arrived on my doorstep and a broken heart when I sent her packing.

  Since she had no place to go, my parent’s put her up in one of their rentals in town. She started working as a waitress while taking night classes to finish her nursing hours. I missed out on the first few months of her pregnancy, because I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be a part of raising a child with her. I hated her and her lies.