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  On occasion we’ll spot a few men in gray suits. The common slang for shark is also referred to as a Noah. Usually sharks steer clear of people, but once in a while they get aggressive. It’s common for one surfer to spot them and alert all others in the water. Courtesy in the water is the key, nonetheless being on a private beach with only one other person leaves no room for stupidity. As important as my training is, I value my life.

  Being that there’s a huge storm set to come across the shore in the next several days, we’re trying to get as much practice in before the conditions become treacherous.

  Our wetsuits are on and we’re taking the plunge into the cool water. Max follows me in taking a duck dive so we aren’t caught in the first breaking tip. We spot the designated lull and make our descent. It’s not until we’re out past the breakers when we’re able to hear each other talk.

  We’re both sitting on our boards waiting for the next big one to roll in. “Thought I lost ya back there, bro,” I taunt. Max usually surpasses me with ease, but he struggled to keep up.

  “Says the guy who needs to get laid.” He shakes water out of his longer black hair. “You’re just jealous about that piece of ass I nailed last night.”

  This normal banter between us has always been easy to overlook, but lately it’s gotten under my skin. He gloats about the amount of girls he hooks up with, while I know even one night of partying could destroy my focus. Rubbing my hands over my face, I respond. “Dude, don’t go there. It’s starting to get painful.”

  Max chuckles. “I bet.” He points to the empty beach. “Why don’t you just find someone to relieve the ache.” Even though he says it sarcastically, I think he might be onto something.

  “Not really feeling like a random hookup. She’ll want to stick around and fuss about seeing me again. It ain’t worth it. I’ll deal with it.”

  “Look, if you want you can have the house to yourself tonight. Dad’s staying in town for the vendor meetings and I’ve got plans. You could get some of that hardcore pay-per-view and go to town for a couple hours. Drain that shit and be on your game by morning.”

  A see a massive swell coming in, and since it’s better to avoid the conversation, I head straight for it, coming up off my board with my feet hitting the deck right as the peak begins to curl. I make the drop and do an immediate clidro, a fancy little spin around to get my adrenaline pumping. I ride that baby into the soupy foam until I’m almost beached. As I turn to head back, I catch Max doing a pop up. He hits the top settling into the center of a barrel, and spinning around with both middle fingers in the air. It’s a pretty sick move, and in my experience I’m aware he’s trying to show me up. This is the type of persuasion I require for a productive day of training.

  Instead of heading back out, I wait for him to ride out the wave. He coasts up next to me and settles back down on his board in about three feet of shallow water. “That all you’ve got?” Max gawks.

  “Screw you. I’m just getting warmed up.”

  We spend the rest of the morning working on my routines. Surf competitions are much like a big show where the most impressive wins. His ideas are what will put me above the rest of the surfers, but it requires big risks, and some damn near impossible maneuvers. I’m all for attempting new tricks, but it only reminds me how difficult it will be to pull off, and even if I’m able to make it work, I fear it still won’t be enough to convince anyone to put their brand behind my name.

  That’s why I have to give everything I have this time. I can’t let a little distraction, or some nice warm pussy mess with my head.

  Chapter 4

  Miley

  This is my first plane ride, and I’m more than terrified. It’s been a long couple of weeks since losing my only remaining parent to the effects of Huntington’s Disease. Due to the fact that I was in mourning, I neglected to return to work, which in turn caused my boss to find a replacement. The bills came and went, added all the medical expenses that now defaulted to me and I lost the means to have the finances to stay afloat. If it weren’t for Michael, I wouldn’t have a place to live. He’s been wonderful and supportive, but not without making huge sacrifices himself. The kind of secrets that can crush relationships and ruin lives.

  While he was away at college I discovered a secret he’d been hiding from me for years. First there were the pictures.

  I’d been putting his clean clothes away in his drawers and noticed a stack of photographs banded together. They were wrapped in notebook paper with a message written on it. Our first weekend at the cabin. This is where I fell in love with you. I wanted you to have a copy for yourself when we can’t be together - Love Luca.

  My stomach knotted up at first when I considered he was having an affair with another woman. That was until I actually unfolded the paper and witnessed the real truth.

  There they were, two broodingly handsome men smiling while standing close. The next photograph made me queasy. They were walking down a trail holding hands, followed by another where they were kissing. That’s when it really soaked in. Michael and Luca were involved in a relationship, and from the looks of the rest of the pictures, they were very much intimate and in love.

  The nausea didn’t subside. I was already reeling from the loss of my momma and having nothing to my name, and now I was staring at the awful truth that the man I thought would soon request for my hand in marriage was nothing but a liar. Don’t even get me started on the cheating part. I suppose it would have been easier if he was a woman. At least then I’d know it was because he was a prick. It’s like a light bulb goes off in my head, and I begin to replay all the times where he was acting strange. There were so many signs.

  I waited until that night to confront him. My beautiful boyfriend broke down and told me everything, including admitting that he’d been gay all along. He said he loved me, and he thought if he focused on us that he’d be able to go through with our relationship. He even mentioned having children together. After apologizing and begging me to keep his secret, I made the decision to walk away.

  With that being said, I had nowhere else to go. I couldn’t afford the single wide trailer, and had no means of an income. My last two weeks of pay came in on a Friday. It totaled seven hundred and eighty dollars. My one emergency credit card had a balance of one thousand and fourteen bucks. There was only one place left for me, and it would only require a one way ticket. By means of my cell phone, I purchase a pass to heaven, also known as the most tropical place I could think of in such a short amount of time that didn’t need a passport. I knew if I waited I’d change my mind. Hawaii was a destination Momma always dreamed of going, and without a single person holding me back I knew it was where I needed to be.

  Being in the confines of a small seat during the ride proved to be a challenge. I keep my eyes closed for most of the flight, my knuckles white from clenching onto the arms on the chair. Every single sound is amplified, only heightening my fear. My body feels sweaty, and even though I swallow several hundred times, I feel like my throat is collapsing. When the plane hits the tarmac I finally inhale and feel the air flowing back through my lungs. Following the flow of the crowd, I find myself in the arrival lane of the garage watching families get picked up for their vacations. Excitement fills their eyes, and only envy shows through mine. I’ve managed to skip the Hawaiian dressed hula dancers putting flowers around people’s necks, making a beeline for the bathroom so I can splash some cold water on my face to prove this was really happening. I’ve never traveled anywhere, or even gone on a real vacation. Michael has taken me places, but living in Myrtle Beach South Carolina was my Momma’s idea of happiness. She used to spend every summer morning on the beach. I can vividly recall her taking me there with a giant bucket we’d fill with different shells that the waves pushed onto the sand. We’d feed the seagulls scrap bread, even when the people around us considered them, and us, a nuisance. I remember her taking me to bonfires, and singing songs as she snuggled up close to keep me warm. We never swam in the
ocean, not after my sister passed away, but we still loved being around it.

  Before she got sick Momma was compassionate and nurturing. We didn't have much, but she made it seem like we were the lucky ones.

  Back then she was a vivacious beauty with the potential to date any man she wanted. The thing is, she was never interested in a relationship. The woman worked two jobs and spent her free time with her very best friend. Me.

  I'm lost without her. She was my compass. Knowing she isn't suffering should numb the pain, yet it hasn't subsided, not even a tinge. Her death has taken the best part of me, and I don't know how to cope. I miss her so much I feel incompetent. Without her guidance I'm broken, irreparable. Wishing there was a way to overcome the pain, I find myself at a crossroad. While the cab driver leads me to a nearby hotel I take in the surroundings, and all I can do is wonder if Momma is seeing this through my eyes. I hope she's with my sister again, and that they're waiting for me to join them. It won't be long now. My fate is written. There's nothing to return to; no love, no home, not even a future.

  Some people think suicide will cancel out their problems and bring them peace. For me it's the only hope I have left. I want to die, not because I'm caught up in a world I can no longer handle, but because I'm consumed by an emptiness I'll never be able to fill. There's nothing left for me, no one to wipe away the tears continuing to fall. No one to hurt if I’m gone. This is my Hell. It's my purgatorial nightmare on repeat. I need to escape, to get away from this worthless black hole that continues sucking the light from within.

  I just want it to be over.

  Chapter 5

  Baz

  Max and I surf until well into the afternoon. We’re exhausted and head onshore for a much needed break. In the back of his Jeep we fetch the cooler and pull out a couple sandwiches while sitting on the bumper.

  The dirt path that leads to the beach is almost hidden. You have to know where it is to find it, so when we see a taxi turning up the dirt we’re a bit curious. Max looks at me with a curious frown. “What the shit, dude?”

  I step down as the car approaches and pulls in next to us. The driver nods and rolls down his window. “Aloha, bro.” I recognize him immediately as a local who occasionally surfs this spot. He doesn’t compete, but does it as a hobby.

  “Kolo, long time no see, man.” We shake hands as a drop-dead-gorgeous female steps from the rear. Her hourglass body strikes me in all the right places. I silently wonder if Max set this all up because he knows I have a soft spot for chicks like this one. If she’s a hooker I’ll have to pass. I’m not desperate and I sure as hell don’t want to walk away with some fatal dick disease. If that even exists.

  The girl doesn’t make eye contact with me, instead focuses on gathering her belongings like she has all the time in the world. When she bends over to reach in the backseat, I almost instinctively say something crude about that fine ass giving me a show, but refrain.

  Max is right. I’m deprived.

  When she surfaces, there’s a duffle bag over her shoulder. A hand slips inside to pull out some cash for the driver. I don’t step from the spot I’m standing, knowing she’ll have to ask me to move before she’s able to talk to Kolo.

  Ignoring the fact that I’m standing there, she slips in between the small opening to my right and hands Kolo the money.

  “Thank you again. This place is perfect.”

  He nods and watches as she walks toward the water, while checking out what I’ve already noticed.

  I point toward her as Max comes to stand beside me. “What’s with the chick? She want to swim or something?”

  Kolo shrugs. “No clue. I picked her up from the airport. She said she wanted me to drop her off at one of the island’s secret beaches.”

  “So you brought her here?” Max stipulates with a deadpan stare. “Not cool, bro.”

  “It ain’t cool to be bringing a benny here.” I use that word because I’m certain she doesn’t know it’s surfer lingo for non-local. I check out the back of the chick while I scorn him for being intrusive on our private surfing turf.

  “Look, man, I was in the area anyway. She seems harmless. Says she ain’t staying long. I told her to steer clear of the surfers. No reason to worry, dude. The girl claims she can’t swim.”

  She’s dropped her bag on the sandy beach and is putting her long and wavy brown hair in a ponytail. From the way she holds her arms above her head I can get the perfect view of her sexy body like it’s on display for me. It’s been a while since I’ve shared my time with a hot chick, so I’m suddenly captivated when she pulls the shirt off and tosses it to the ground, leaving only the skimpiest bikini top to provide me with more amusement.

  “You sure she said she can’t swim? I ask Kolo.

  “Yeah, bro.” His response is quizzical, as if he’s unsure she was telling the truth.

  I tap on the driver’s door. “Here’s to hoping her friends don’t start showing up. We’ve still got a good few hours of practice to do before low tide.”

  “Oh yeah,” Kolo recalls. “Damn, boy, I forgot you’re competing. Well, be safe. A storm is heading in.”

  “Yep, he’s competing,” Max announces while slapping me on the back. My wetsuit is pulled down so the skin to skin gesture stings. “He’s going to be the next legend.”

  Kolo laughs as if it’s a farfetched assumption. “Good luck with that.”

  He’s aware of my mishaps with the law and the probability of me getting a second chance at redemption is almost impossible. “I’ll check you guys later. I’m on the clock.”

  We all shake before he backs up and heads the same way he came in.

  The mystery female is sitting with her legs crisscrossed while sipping on a large bottle of water. She’s just staring out into the sea like she’s searching for something.

  Max nudges me. “Dude, I bet you twenty bucks you can’t get her number.”

  “I told you I’m trying to stay focused.”

  “What’s one number? Get over yourself and take the challenge. You need to get laid so you can stop bitching. Do it for my sanity.”

  I push him back until he’s almost losing his balance. Once he steadies, he pulls a drink out of the cooler and starts guzzling it.

  I lean against the Jeep and stare at the female. From the five seconds I was able to see her face I’d assume she’s in her twenties. She’s wearing a huge pair of sunglasses that obstructs most of her facial features, but if I had to guess I’d say she’s pretty attractive. When she handed my friend money she smiled with straight white teeth. That’s always a bonus in my book, although from the way Max talks he’d get head from a toothless female any day of the week.

  I shake my head just thinking of the crap he gets himself into, and wonder if half isn’t just fabricated for my amusement. Max knows how to keep me on my toes and entertained. He knows good distractions won’t deter my focus.

  Asking for this chick’s number might seem harmless to Max, but I’ve got to admit I’m unenthusiastic. Our morning surfing has been epic. I’m just reluctant to let an easy distraction ruin our progress. Sometimes I think I need to be medicated, because I’m terrible at sticking to tasks. Life would have been a lot easier without the constant trepidation of my past haunting me.

  Since I'm a bit of a show off, I get an itch to make it a point that I've still got a little bit of cocky still left in me.

  I've almost strolled over to where the girl is when I hear Max catcalling to get a rise out of me. Twisting around, I motion for him to suck on my nuts before proceeding.

  She doesn't turn as I approach, but straightens her body like she's aware of my presence. Making it seem like it feels natural, I crouch down beside her and clear my throat. "Excuse me, but what's a fine looking woman like you doing taking residence on my private beach?" Trying hard not to smirk or lead on that I'm giving her a hard time, I play with a handful of sand, letting it pour back onto the beach.

  "Your beach?" She scans the area. "I didn't kno
w. I asked the driver to take me to a secluded beach."

  I fall down on my back, letting my hands settle above my head and sigh loudly as if she's frustrating me. "Kolo thinks he's funny. Your not the first chick he's dropped off."

  She's rubbing the bottom of her legs with them brought up to her chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't know." So quick I almost miss it, she wipes a tear off her cheek and stands. "I'll call the driver back."

  Like the ass I'm trying to portray, I let her get halfway up the beach before going after her. Once I catch up I flash my famous smile and block her from furthering. "Hold up a minute."

  "Did I drop something?" She covers her bikini top with her wrinkled shirt, and looks back to double check.

  "No. I'm just wondering why a chick as pretty as you would want to be out here all alone, especially since Kolo mentioned you might not be able to swim." I flash an ornery grin. "I'm Baz by the way."

  "Baz? What kind of name is that?"

  "It's the name you'll be saying a lot more after tonight, baby."

  "You've got to be joking."

  She giggles and bites down on her puffy lower lip. "There's no way you can be this pompous. Baz is probably not even your name."

  "Oh, I can assure you it is. I'm also pretty certain there's going to be billboards showcasing my gnarly name all over this damn island. Stick around and you'll see for yourself."

  "No thanks." She's quick to reply. "I'd rather find another beach and forget this ever happened. Sorry I trespassed."

  She dialing a number on her phone with her back to me. "Guess this means I won't be getting your number?"

  Ignoring the current call, she tosses her arms around. "What is with you? Is this how guys here act, because it's pretty pathetic. I wouldn't give you my number. In fact, I wouldn't even waste time giving you the wrong number."