Hope's Last Chance Read online

  The carpet smells like it’s just been replaced when I walk into the lobby of the main office. An older secretary gives me a once over and lowers her gaze toward a schedule book. “Name please.”

  “Chance Avery. I’m here to see Mr. Kimmish.”

  “I can see that. Hang on, I’ll let him know you’re here.” She makes a call and then speaks while striking a line through my name. “He’ll see you now. Do you know where his office is located?”

  “Yeah, I’m good, thanks.”

  It’s like a walk of shame. I feel like all eyes are on me as I make my way to one of the furthest offices on this floor. My heart is racing, and all I can think about is how it would be so much easier if I’d had a few drinks beforehand.

  I knock before entering the closed wooden door that separates me from the person selected to present me with more bad news.

  Once inside, I take a seat in front of him. He writes something down then leans back and raises both hands above his head to stretch. “Let’s cut to the chase. You’re here because you’re being sent down to the minors. I’ve made a few calls this morning and hope to hear back from both coaches about where they need you the most. I think you’ll find that program just as fulfilling as the majors, with a less chaotic environment.”

  “So we don’t know where I’m going yet?”

  He cocks a brow. I’ve signed a contract that I belong to this organization. If they choose to send me to Bumfuck I’ll have to oblige.

  “I’ll have an answer by tomorrow morning for sure. Are you in a hurry? Most guys would appreciate a few days off to collect themselves for this type of change.”

  “Actually,” I stumble for the words to explain this. “I may need a little more time off.”

  “May I ask the reason? Taking off during the normal season is highly frowned upon, unless it’s a medical emergency.”

  “It sort of is. I think I might know what’s causing my slump, and unfortunately it’s going to require me to get some help.”

  “I see.”

  “It’s not drugs,” I add.

  “We’d know if it was. We have programs that we suggest our players’ work with instead of taking matters into their own hands. Your health is a major concern to this organization.”

  “I figured with the changes being implemented I might void my contract if I asked.”

  “Chance, I’m not going to lie. You’re position here is going to be in question, but not because of any sort of addiction. You’re walking a tight rope and if you don’t follow the rules and play your cards right you could fall.”

  Since he’s being informative I find it important to ask about my options. “If I went through one of the organization’s providers would they give me the time needed to recover, or would I be expect to report to practice while I’m being treated?”

  “That would depend on what a medically trained doctor prescribes for your situation. You’re not the first player to have an addiction. Many have been severe enough to warrant intervention. I can appreciate that you’re coming to us on your own recognizance.”

  “My wife is threatening to leave me.”

  He laughs and shakes his head. “Young love. I admire it, but I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”

  I don’t question his statement. Frankly, I don’t give a shit what his opinions on marriage are. To each his own, and in my case, Hope is always going to be my one positive.

  “Since you’re inquiring, would you like me to have my secretary make you an appointment with our medical professionals to get you started?”

  I shrug. “Whatever I need to do. I don’t really like talking to people, but I’m sure they’ll have to evaluate my situation.”

  “It’s required. All mental issues have to go through that department first, especially addiction. I’m surprised you’re coming to me with this. You do know this could affect your long-term standing with this organization, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, I get it. I know what’s at stake, but I also know I can’t play ball if I don’t get help. I’m not in the shape I was when I started. I feel drained and it is taking a toll on my skills, as well as my mental state. I’m not a quitter, so I’m willing to do what it takes to prove I can earn my way back to this team.”

  “Good to know.”

  I’m nervous. It’s showing in the way I’m shaking my knee as the conversation progresses. “This is all new to me, so sorry if I seem anxious.”

  “I’ve been down the same road. It’s ugly. People think ball players have the life. I never met anyone in this line of work that hasn’t said the stress can lead to permanent illnesses and addictions. You’re one of many, unfortunately. I’ll make sure you have an appointment tomorrow with a specialist. In the meantime, I’ll need you to sign some papers stating that we’ve met and you’ve been made aware of the impending changes and relocation. We will meet again to go over pay changes, and sign anything that comes up in the meantime.”

  I nod. “Okay.” As much as I hate this, I have to do it for my family; all of it.

  When I leave the meeting I’m sick to my stomach. I knew what the outcome would be, but the devastation continues. More bad news makes me cringe. It’s decided. We’re going to have to move. The house will need to go up for sale, and most likely Hope will have to pick up the slack while I’m either in a rehab facility or away playing baseball. With the pending changes weighing heavily on my mind, I head home where I pray my wife and child will be.

  I find Hope sitting on her computer looking at properties. She’s changed into something more comfortable, a pair of yoga pants and one of my practice shirts. Her hair is tied up in messy bun and she’s wearing a new pair of reading glasses. She probably thinks she looks like a hot mess, but I find her highly attractive. I know she’s heard me come in, but refuses to address me, so I slowly approach her from behind, placing my hands on either of her shoulders while massaging them. “Is this okay?” I ask.

  “How did it go?” She doesn’t answer my question, but never asks me to stop either.

  I shrug out of habit. “As good as can be expected.” I lean in to look at the screen. “Rochester?”

  “I’ve never been there before. I have no idea what it’s like there. I figured we should be prepared for anything.”

  “We?” I inquire.

  She finally turns the chair around to face me. Her hands go to her knees instead of wrapping around my waist, while her eyes look up into mine. “Is that still what you want, Chance, because lately I haven’t felt like we’re headed in a good direction.”

  I can feel tears forming in my eyes as I respond. “Yes. Of course it’s what I want. It’s all I care about.”

  I get an inquisitive stare as she considers if I’m being honest with myself. “You could have fooled me.”

  “I’ve been insensitive. My bad decisions have led us here. I know I’m at fault.”

  She refuses to reach out for me, so we remain in the same awkward position while discussing our future. “I’ve hurt you, Hope. I’m so sorry for that.”

  She shakes her head. “That’s just it. It’s not a one time thing. It seems like everything you do hurts me. You’re oblivious to my feelings, or what I would consider inappropriate. Last night was a prime example. You thought it was okay to leave the stadium with strangers instead of doing an interview that every other baseball player seems to be able to handle. You didn’t call me. In fact, you didn’t call anyone. You went to God knows where with those two little sluts, and I don’t even want to know what you did with them.”

  “Nothing.”

  “One of them was half dressed. At least have the decency to be honest about it.”

  I take a deep breath and let out a long sigh. “Fine. I might remember more than I originally admitted to.”

  She finally stands. “I knew it. You slept with them didn’t you?”

  I follow as she hurries from the room. Cornered in between our bed and nightstand, I gate her in with my arms, forcing her to be still until
I can further explain. “I didn’t sleep with either of them. I haven’t been with anyone, Hope. I swore that to you and I meant it. However, I might have watched them doing things to each other, but only because there was nothing else to do. You see…”

  A hard slap makes contact with my face. My head jerks to the side as the sting takes effect. “Bastard.”

  My hands clench both of her wrists. My teeth grit as I continue without her permission. “We were in a bar that is under construction. They thought they could persuade me to screw around if they taunted me. It didn’t work. Even at my drunkest. You don’t have to believe me, but it’s true. I used them for a ride and some free booze. I didn’t take them anywhere or buy them shit. I may have rambled about hanging out with them, but only so they’d bring me home to you. That’s the damn truth.”

  She won’t look at me, even with us being only inches apart. “It still feels like you betrayed me. What happens next time and the following? Can you honestly say it will never happen?” She doesn’t let me answer. “How am I supposed to be okay with this?”

  “You aren’t. That’s why I’m going to do what you want. I’m going to get help, no matter what it takes.”

  Her lips are trembling as she listens. I run my thumb over them, the only purpose to remind myself that even the smallest touch of her skin can make me weak. “I don’t want to hurt like this anymore. I can’t do it. I won’t let Faith see me crying. She doesn’t deserve to be upset for something we’re going through.”

  “I told the general manager about my addiction today. He’s getting me set up with the organization’s medical facility where they’ll find me a place to rehabilitate before I start playing ball again. There’s a chance I’ll never play ball in the majors again, but I agree that we can’t keep living like this. You’re miserable and I’m obviously not happy either. I want us to figure this out together, like we promised we would.”

  “That’s going to require a lot of change, and until I see the effort I can’t think about what comes next.”

  The burning is back in my eyes, but only because one look at hers and I’m aware of how much pain and anguish I’ve caused this family. I’ve been selfish. Fame has led me down a road I can’t seem to find my way back from. Now I’m being forced to consider all of my options. So far Hope has made every sacrifice to be with me; to let me follow my dreams. Maybe it’s time I put her first for once, and prove that nothing is more important than my family.

  Chapter 11

  I’m tired of worrying, sick of bickering, and afraid of what we still have to accomplish. My heart hurts. It literally feels as if someone is trying to rip my brain from my skull. As tears stream down my cheeks, I watch my husband react, the same way he always used to when he saw the little bit of sorrow in my eyes. This is the man I’d move Heaven and Earth for if I could. He’s the person I want to share my life with.

  The good.

  The bad.

  Everything.

  Something may be broken inside of him, but he’s willing to get help. He wants to be better, which is the first step in the right direction. I didn’t want to force this decision on him. Chance is not a child, but sometimes I feel like he needs to be treated like one. We have a daughter to set examples for. I don’t want my child assuming her father’s natural appearance is intoxicated and belligerent. She needs to know the real man who loves and would do anything for her.

  When Chance strokes my lips for the second time, I finally let my eyes close. I can’t keep fighting this. It’s been days since we touched. I miss him, even if he’s standing inches away from me. There’s always been a pull between us. We’ve never tried to deny it. As much as I want to appear angry, and stand my ground until I know for sure he’ll follow through with his promises, I’m reminded of what my own body and mind needs to alleviate the stress.

  My lips open as Chance narrows in on them. His first kiss is soft, almost like he’s feeling me out to see if I’ll allow him to continue. In this gentle, much needed moment, I’m led to want what I know could be dangerous. It will solve nothing, but soothe even the deepest wounds.

  My fingers drag over the fabric of his shirt, until they sit at the buttons. For a few seconds I leave them there, making sure this is what I want to do. Unlike Chance, I’m the type of person who has learned to think before acting, and it’s how I want my daughter to be when the time is right for her to begin making choices in life. I’m years away from that happening, but refuse to let the little things slide. She’s too spoiled too assume she’ll be respectful without guidance.

  “I need you,” he manages a whisper before diving back for another chaste kiss. “Please let me have this.”

  I begin to unbutton his shirt from the top, while Chance reaches to lift mine over my head. I help him wrangle it, and even assist in removing my bra before he offers. It doesn’t take much to get my blood boiling. Parts of me are suddenly on fire as he shoves me down on the mattress. When his hands cup both of my breasts my head flings backward, while waves of pleasure rush throughout my limbs. He nibbles and licks each of my nipples slowly, just how I like him to do. He sucks them hard at the same time, shoving them together so the tips are touching. A fire ignites between my legs, and I can sense that my pussy awaits his attention.

  I bring Chance’s face up to my mouth and stroke my tongue over his, taunting him without needing to speak a single word. Our kisses are hungry, ravenous, as they give hints on how this encounter is going to play out. We’ve gone without intimacy for too long. What is transpiring between us is nothing more than lust taking control.

  Then he stops what he’s doing to look at me. I watch him back off the bed and stand. “Do you remember what it felt like when we first got together? I used to get high off the way your skin felt to touch,” he says while tracing his fingers over my stomach. “You tasted like candy, the kind a kid isn’t supposed to eat. I tried to keep my distance, but you weren’t having it. You seduced me like you knew what you were doing, like you knew exactly what would happen if I gave in to temptation.” He almost growls when he reaches the hem of my pants and starts pulling them over my hips. “I want you to feel like that again, Hope. I don’t want to be a burden to you. I want to be everything you’ve ever desired and more.”

  When he talks to me like this I crumble, and he knows it. That’s our problem. We know each other too well. Reconciliation is inevitable because we love so deeply. It’s unlike Chance to restrain in order to have a serious conversation. He usually waits until afterwards, or sometimes as a means to stop a fight.

  He stands up again to remove his undershirt off his muscular arms. I take him in, his sculpted chest, and then those large biceps he’s gotten since working out to stay in shape. Outside appearances would imply he’s in great health, when inside he’s damaging his liver, one drink at a time.

  I lick my lips and continue to stare straight ahead at his perfect physique. He scoots between my legs and brings his lips to mine. Our tongues mingle to a familiar rhythm before we part for air. His eyes are on mine, as if he’s trying to read my thoughts. “Please don’t ever give up on me, baby. I’m nothing without you.”

  I needed to be reminded that I was still desirable.

  We take a second to shove off our pants before he climbs overtop of me. Before we’re able to kiss, he flips my body over and thrusts against my ass. His large hand cups it and squeezes hard before releasing.

  “When we’re apart I think about this ass, and how much I love it.”

  His words vibrate off my ear as a tiny moan escapes me. I’m shaking, but eager, desperate, but cautious. He’ll expect this to mean we’ve made up, and that won’t be the case. Still, I refuse to resist this.

  Chance massages my shoulders, followed by my lower back. He traces the back of his hand over both of my cheeks, spreading my ass and teasing it with his hard erection. I’m so horny it’s hard to deny him entrance. Chance surprises me by spinning me back around to face him.

  He pauses, then look
s to me for my reaction. I simply bite down on my bottom lip and drag it with my teeth. “Faith is going to wake up and come looking. You know she has radar.”

  “I’ll bribe her with ice cream. Tonight I need to take my time.” He kisses the nape of my neck and continues. “I need to taste your skin, lick every inch of your body, and then give you unending pleasure because you deserve it.”

  Chance savors me, doing exactly what he promised he would do to me. He’s adamant to bring me pleasure, without allowing me to return the favor.

  As much as I try to touch him, he pushes me away and distracts me by diving down between my legs and lapping up my wet pussy.

  He laces our fingers together, holding my hands while feasting on me like a starved man. My body bucks. I cry out. Waves of fabulous orgasms rip through every inch of me until I’m incapable of handling it any longer.

  Chance kisses his way up my body, breaking to tease each of my nipples before plastering his lips into mine. Our kiss is intense as he positions himself over me, his hard cock pressing at the base of my oversensitive pussy.

  For a second he stops and rests his forehead against mine. We close our eyes and take a moment to appreciate our time together. “I love you so much, Hope.”

  “I love you too.”

  Then it happens. He slips inside of me with ease, gradually setting a pace we can both work with. It’s obvious he’s fighting the urge to come. It’s been over a week since we’ve made love, and since we never go that long I can only assume he’s struggled to keep it together. Chance likes lasting. He’ll hold out until it hurts just to prove he can.

  Whenever he’s on the verge he slows down and we make out. He takes both hands and cups my face, kissing me passionately, slow, and careful. My hands drag through his dark hair as another orgasm begins to rip through me. We’re too connected for me to be able to hold it in. I don’t want to miss out on the pleasure only he’s ever been able to give me.

  While I’m shaking, he dips lower and sucks on one of my nipples. This intensifies my release, and as I clench a handful of his hair, I come up off the bed and cry out again. I’m shuddering when I feel his own body tightening. The veins begin to pop on the sides of his head the moment he explodes, filling me with every bit of pent up stress and anxiety.