Love Survives (Love Suicide #2) Read online

  As we pulled up to the entrance of the lavish hotel I wondered if I’d be able to will myself inside. That’s when I saw her, standing right in the lobby. As far away as she was, I knew it was her. Waves of heat overwhelmed me as I handed the driver some cash and stepped out of the vehicle with my bag thrown over my shoulder and my eyes still fixated on the prize. She couldn’t see me checking her out, finding all the things that had changed about her in a matter of seconds.

  Her beauty had only accentuated with time. I worried she wouldn’t feel the same about me. In that moment, when I walked into the building, nothing else mattered in the world. I’d forgotten about the promise I’d made to my brother, or the fact that anyone could have seen this reaction as a threat. My only focus was to get to her, hold her, and contemplate never letting her go.

  I never would have expected her to react the way she did, and it only made our connection more consuming. My arms wrapped tightly around her body, while I took in the fragrance of her hair, remembering back when we still lived under the same roof. I had to keep holding her there to prevent her from seeing the tears that I was fighting back. She’d never understand how much I’d wished for this. For as many nights as I could count, I dreamed of this moment with her; one that was mutual and more endearing than any letter or phone call could provide. “I missed you so much,” I whispered, barely able to get words out.

  She backed away and took in my appearance. I wondered if she liked me being in my fatigues. Did she notice any changes in me?

  “It’s been a long time.”

  What did that mean? Was she disappointed? Couldn’t she come back into my arms for a little while longer?

  I had to remain calm. This was much harder than I expected it to be. “You look great, Kat.”

  “Can I help you, sir?” The lady behind the desk interrupted.

  For a second I had to look away even though I didn’t want to let her out of my sight. “I’m here to check in. The name is Valentine, Brooks Valentine.”

  Before I had the chance to hug her again, or even consider what else we could talk about without me losing my cool, I heard my brother’s voice. He was in the room with us, and it was the first time we’d seen each other since he’d found out I’d slept with Kat.

  “Well look at what the cat dragged in.” Branch came walking in with his arms full of boxes. He sat them down in a chair and walked over to greet me. I knew right away that this was all an act. “It’s real good to see you, bro,” He said loud enough for everyone to hear. Then, in a low whisper he spoke only to me. “If I see you putting your hands on her again it’s going to get ugly fast.”

  I pulled away and faked a smile, realizing he’d seen how uncontrolled I already was around Kat. I couldn’t help it. For some reason I felt like I loved her even more, as if the distance between us had only made it stronger, instead of helping me to forget. “Yeah, you too,” I finally replied to Branch. He may have been fooling everyone in the room, but I was on high alert, as if he was my sworn enemy.

  It felt great to see my parents again. I’d missed them and noticed right away how well they both appeared. I’d worried that they’d fall apart, but perhaps being forced together because they were all that was left had made them stronger. It was strange to me how that could happen, but it also gave me hope that sometimes love conquers all. Now, I’m the farthest you can get from a sap, but it was definitely a nice feeling to see my parents this way.

  Before I’d even noticed what was going on, Kat was walking away from us. I tried not to let my brother notice that I was watching her, but it was too late. His expression left me wondering if he was going to kill me while I slept. I’d been there for less than ten minutes and already had a hit out on me because I couldn’t keep my shit together when I was with Kat. Coming to the wedding had been a terrible idea. I already knew it wasn’t going to end well.

  While trying nonchalantly to search for Kat without being obvious, a cute red-head bounced over to greet me. It took me a second to realize that this must have been Kat’s friend Melissa. She stared into my eyes as she grabbed my hand to shake. I’d seen this look before, but found it hard not to laugh at how she was acting like a teenager who was flustered at the sight of me. “Hey, you must be Melissa. I’m Brooks.”

  “I know. Kat told me all about you,” she responded with a smile. “Branch said you were single. I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that we’re in this together.”

  “Come again? In what?” I had no idea what she was talking about. Was she implying that being single was something to celebrate?

  “The duties of the being the best man and maid of honor, of course. What did you think I was saying?”

  “I don’t know. Sorry, I’ve been traveling all day. My mind’s in a million places.”

  “That can be resolved. There’s a bar right over there. After a couple drinks I’m sure you’ll feel more comfortable.”

  I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me, and for some reason it was disturbing. I wondered if Kat had put her up to it, or possibly Branch. At any rate I had to be cordial because my brother and his accusing eyes were fixated on my every move.

  Since I didn’t feel like carrying on a long conversation with this chick, I decided to head to my room. “I’m just going to go get changed. If you’ll excuse me?” I moved her body to the side, picked up my bag and headed for the elevators. Once inside I leaned back and took a few deep breaths. I didn’t know where Kat was, or even if she was thinking about me, but I couldn’t get my mind off of her to save my life.

  I’d no sooner sat my things down on the bed when someone knocked on my door. I turned hoping and praying that it was her. To be behind closed doors and hold her again would have been fantastic, unfortunately that’s not who was waiting when I opened it up.

  “Branch? What’s up?”

  He punched me in the gut, sending me back to the bed. While I tried to catch my breath he started to speak. “You were here for a few seconds and already went back on your word. What the fuck is wrong with you? I told you to stay away from her.”

  I shook my head. “You’ve got it all wrong,” I lied. “I was simply saying hi. If I didn’t hug her she would have suspected something. Get over yourself Branch. It was just a hug.”

  He pointed directly at me. “Keep your hands off of my girl, Brooks. This is my last warning.”

  “Or what?” I peered him right in the eyes while I stood to be level with his face. “What will you do? Will you send me away? Will you attempt to beat my ass because we both know how that will end. I’m almost double the size of you and have been trained to take down the enemy. There’s no way you could handle me. Take your threats and get the fuck out of my room. I’m here because I was asked to attend. Like it or not, SHE wants me here, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.”

  My brother just stood there, searching for something he could say that would bring me down. He looked away as he replied. “She feels sorry for you. That’s why you’re here. Kat’s like that. We’re the only family she has left. She thinks of you like a brother and nothing more. You’re fooling yourself if you thought you could come back here and be friends again. If she only knew what you did to her. You should be in jail.”

  “She wouldn’t do that to me,” I whispered under my breath.

  “Oh really? You think she’d ever forgive you?” He shook his head and began to chuckle. “Just remember who she’s marrying, brother. You weren’t her first choice. You lost. Say whatever you want, but I never had to sneak my way into her bed.”

  It took everything in me to not plummet my brother to the ground. It was a low blow, one that I’d lived with since the first night I’d been intimate with Kat. He’d taken what I’d done and used it as a weapon against me, knowing there was nothing I could say or do to defend my actions. He had every right to be angry with me, but at the end of the day he was correct. She’d chosen him, and I couldn’t change that.

  “Get out of my room!�
�� I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists as I said it.

  Branch stood with the door half-open. “If you can’t act right don’t bother coming downstairs later. It’s going to be hard enough pretending that I like you during the service. I’d hate to have to strain myself this early on.”

  When the door shut I buried my face into my hands. This couldn’t be happening already. This mess was mine to clean up, but I didn’t even know how to begin making it happen, not when I knew she was the only reason I was there in the first place.

  Chapter 11

  My father rapped on the door until I answered. Dressed casually, he placed his hands in his pockets, like he frequently did. “Everyone is meeting downstairs for cocktails. Do you think you might want to join us? I’d hate for you to spend your whole visit alone in this room.”

  I leaned on the door frame. “Yeah, well I’m better off steering clear of Branch. He hates having to put on a show when I’m around.”

  “I’m not going to take no for an answer.”

  I hated disappointing my dad, so I realized I didn’t have much of a choice. I slipped on a pair of shoes and followed him down to the lounge, where I found everyone there except for Kat. Since I knew I couldn’t ask about her, or make it obvious that I was scanning the area to locate where she was hiding, I ordered a drink.

  Melissa approached me immediately. It was obvious this girl was going to be a thorn in my side; one that I could use to distract everyone from the fact that I was infatuated with being close to Kat. “What will you be drinking tonight, Brooks?”

  I stepped up to the bar. “A draft beer is fine. I’m taking it easy tonight. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.” I looked at my brother and nodded.

  He raised his brows, giving a sarcastic smirk then downed a shot. Without making it obvious, I turned my attention back to Melissa. She sipped her drink through her straw while staring at me. Since I was still wondering where Kat was, I decided to walk toward my parents, until I saw her coming into the room. Then everything around me stopped. As excited as I was it was important not to make a scene.

  We all sat down at a nearby table. When Melissa and Branch stood back up to get drinks for everyone, I couldn’t help but lean over and speak. “Are you feeling better?”

  I could tell she was looking around to see who was watching. “Yes, thanks.”

  “Nerves got the best of you, I assume.” As I said it I stared at the television as if I wasn’t paying attention to her.

  For a while everyone chatted about mundane things, mostly the guests that were coming to the event. I kept my focus off of Kat, but didn’t check to see if my brother was watching my back. By the time our seats were ready for dinner, I was starting to unwind. I’d had a few beers, and the focus turned to an interest in what I’d been through so far in the military.

  “Are you nervous about being deployed?” Melissa asked.

  I shrugged and played with the rim of my glass. “Not really. I’m as prepared as I’ll ever be, I suppose. I mean, it’s nothing you can be one-hundred percent sure of.”

  “I don’t know why someone would ever sign up to risk their lives. It’s so dangerous.” Her response made me feel tough.

  I swished my beer around. “I’m proud of my choices,” I lied. Sure, I was happy how I’d been brave, but walking away from Kat was definitely not something I’d ever forgive myself for.

  “Our son has dedicated himself to serving this beautiful country. That’s something to be proud of.” My father was the first to make me feel at ease.

  “Dad, as much as I appreciate that, I’ve been taught to fend my own battles. Now, as far as going overseas, I’ll take it day by day. We have one life, and I plan on making the best of it. It’s my job, and I take pride in that.”

  “What was it like at first?” Kat asked. “When you left for basic was it difficult? I don’t think I ever asked.”

  I wished I could tell her that my struggles weren’t because of joining the military. What I fought daily with was the decision to walk away from not only my family, but most of all from her. It didn’t matter that she was with Branch. I should have stayed, because just maybe they wouldn’t be tying the knot, putting me through more pain and suffering. “It wasn’t all that bad. I was learning something new every day. I made a couple friends, and we leaned on each other when times got tough. I’ll never forget the first week when we all had to get our haircuts. There was this guy who kept making fun of people with weird shaped heads. Well, let me just tell you, as soon as they shaved the first half of his scalp it was like looking at an egg. From that moment on he was known as Humpty. I guess you had to be there to get the full gist of it.”

  A couple people smiled while Kat seemed to be pleased.

  “What are the girls like in the Army? Are they all butchy?” Branch asked. Leave it to him to open his mouth about other women as if I didn’t know it was purposely to get under Kat’s skin.

  “Much to my surprise there are plenty of beautiful women in the armed forces. In fact, it’s a lot like college. We just walk around in camouflage and work out way more. We go out for drinks, play games, and lack sleep.”

  Kat giggled and said something under her breath to Melissa. “It sounds just like college.”

  “Yeah, if every day was like rush week,” Branch rudely commented, while waving down the waiter for another drink.

  While I sat there looking at my brother I noticed how the years had changed him. Maybe I just didn’t recall ever feeling scrawny, or perhaps it was the fact that I was so much bigger than he was now. “I’m hoping to eventually work in a recovery unit. My sarge thinks I should focus on marksmanship, but I don’t know if that’s all I want to do. I think I’d rather help people, instead of focusing on destruction.”

  None of the people at the table could respond to my statement. It was like they were shell-shocked. They couldn’t have understood what I was preparing to walk into. There was a good chance that I wouldn’t be coming home. I had to be realistic. Bad things were happening overseas, and I was about to be right smack in the center of it all.

  “Can we talk about something else now? It’s my wedding eve.” Branch was all about himself, just like he’d always been. Every statement he made caused me to wonder what the hell Kat saw in him.

  “Yeah, sure. I was simply answering a question.”

  “Wait,” Melissa interrupted. “I’d like to hear more. My cousin is in the Navy. He always has the best tales to tell.”

  “I don’t know if I have anything worthwhile to talk about. I mean, I’ve lived on a base for quite some time. My day is like anyone else’s with a job. I wake up and put in the time, and then I’m done.” Explaining what it was like for me seemed so boring, but Kat’s friend was staring at me like I made millions of dollars selling paperclips. She was whacked.

  “Maybe we should order dessert,” My mother stated. “The pastor will be here soon for the rehearsal.”

  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kat looking at me. Quickly, she turned away, I suppose because she was embarrassed I’d caught her. For the next several minutes it kept happening, each time one of us would turn away before we were discovered. It made no sense to me. She was acting like a teenager does when they’re crushing on someone. Obviously that wasn’t happening between us. She was about to get married.

  After dinner, we all made our way into the hall where the ceremony was to be held. The pastor waited for us to come forward before beginning to explain what would happen. I know it was by accident, but instead of positioning my brother across from Kat, he grabbed me by the arm and stood me right in front of her. I could hear gasps around the room while Kat and I stood still staring at one another.

  As fast as he was able, Branch shoved me to the side. The look on his face made me want to laugh, but I held it together, even as everyone else in the room laughed at the discrepancy. The whole time I kept turning back to meet eyes with Kat. I couldn’t understand why, but I felt like she was upset about something
. I wanted to pull her aside and ask her what was going on, but understood it wasn’t the time or place. After the wedding I figured things would be easier. Branch would let his guard down and I could make sense out of everything that I was feeling.

  When the rehearsal was over, we all went back to the bar, except for my parents, who retreated to their room early. Even though I don’t think my brother needed another drop of alcohol, he kept pouring them down. Meanwhile, Melissa also continued binge drinking, as well as throwing herself at me in front of everyone. She kept smiling at me, sticking her chest out, I assume to get me to look at her cleavage. Honestly, I tried. I thought that if I put all of my attention on her, I would get by with little peeks of Kat. Sure, it was terribly wrong, but it was all I could do to prevent from walking over to her and ruining my life some more.

  Then Branch went too far. “So, what room did you say you were in again?” He inquired.

  “I didn’t. It’s seven zero two. Why?” I expected him to say he was kicking my ass later, but that was far from what came out of his mouth next.

  “You hear that, Mel? Write it down for later. I’m sure it’s been a while since he’s had a ginger.”

  I faced him, ready to throw down. He’d taken things too far. I figured Melissa would get angry for him making a joke out of her having red hair, but instead she seemed even more convinced that she had a chance. “Don’t speak for me, Branch. You have no idea what I do with my free time.”

  I refused to look at Kat. The first reason was because I didn’t want to see her disappointed face. The second was because I did. I wanted to know that she was offended, so much that she didn’t want to marry him. This guy, the one that was acting a fool, was the true identity of my brother. He may not present it all the time, but behind closed doors he was selfish, heartless, and out to make sure he won at whatever he’d set out to do.